+12
TheScarletHood
DinosaurPixel
Anon#12370
§China'sAllieCat§
loldrive
I am epicness
Purplealligat0r
Sage'sSong
MotherTrucker
Nightcore413
Rawrshack
Sandstriker
16 posters
Pun and Jokes Thread
TheScarletHood- Member
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- Post n°76
Re: Pun and Jokes Thread
XD
I am epicness- Member
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- Post n°77
Re: Pun and Jokes Thread
Old people always poke me at weddings and say your next
So I started doing the same thing to them ,at funerals.
So I started doing the same thing to them ,at funerals.
§China'sAllieCat§- Over Achiever
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- Post n°78
Re: Pun and Jokes Thread
((He he))
I am epicness- Member
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- Post n°79
Re: Pun and Jokes Thread
A hydrogen atom walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "What's wrong?"
The hydrogen atom replies, "I lost my electron!"
The bartender says, "Are you sure?"
The hydrogen atom exclaims, "Yes, I'm positive."
The bartender says, "What's wrong?"
The hydrogen atom replies, "I lost my electron!"
The bartender says, "Are you sure?"
The hydrogen atom exclaims, "Yes, I'm positive."
I am epicness- Member
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- Post n°80
Re: Pun and Jokes Thread
What did the birdy say when it flew over wal-mart?
cheap cheap cheap!
What goes "ha ha ha ha, *thump*"?
someone laughing their head off.
I am epicness- Member
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- Post n°81
Re: Pun and Jokes Thread
Why don't blind men skydive?
Because it scares the s*** out of the dog.
I bet you I can stop gambling.
Because it scares the s*** out of the dog.
I bet you I can stop gambling.
I am epicness- Member
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- Post n°82
Re: Pun and Jokes Thread
Did you hear about the new French tank?
Yeah, It has 14 gears. 13 go in reverse, and one goes forward in case the enemy attacks from behind.
Yeah, It has 14 gears. 13 go in reverse, and one goes forward in case the enemy attacks from behind.
I am epicness- Member
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- Post n°83
Re: Pun and Jokes Thread
Q: How do you make a baby float on water?
A: Try taking your foot off his head.
A: Try taking your foot off his head.
I am epicness- Member
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- Post n°84
Re: Pun and Jokes Thread
What do you call a dog with no legs:
Doesn't matter it still isn't going to come!!!
Doesn't matter it still isn't going to come!!!
I am epicness- Member
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- Post n°85
Re: Pun and Jokes Thread
On a traffic light green means 'go' and yellow means 'yield', but on a banana it's just the opposite. Green means 'hold on,' yellow means 'go ahead,' and red means, 'where in the world did you get that banana at?'
I am epicness- Member
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- Post n°86
Re: Pun and Jokes Thread
A Minister, a Priest, and a Rabbi are talking shop one day, and the discussion turns to how they divide up the donated money that their congregations give at their respective services to the collection plate. Specifically, how much goes to maintaining the infrastructure, and how much does the Minister/Priest/Rabbi keep to live on.
The Minister explains that that she draws a circle on the ground, and tosses the money up in the air. Whatever falls inside the circle is for her to support herself and family on, and whatever falls outside is God's, that is - for the Church and its various programs. The Priest nods knowingly, and says that he has a very similar system - except that in his case whatever money falls inside the circle is God's, and whatever falls outside is his living allowance.
The Rabbi nods, and says that his system is also similar, except it doesn't involve a drawing circle. The Priest and Minister look at him quizzically, and ask him to go on....
The Rabbi continues "I throw all the money up in the air - - Whatever God wants, he keeps...."
The Minister explains that that she draws a circle on the ground, and tosses the money up in the air. Whatever falls inside the circle is for her to support herself and family on, and whatever falls outside is God's, that is - for the Church and its various programs. The Priest nods knowingly, and says that he has a very similar system - except that in his case whatever money falls inside the circle is God's, and whatever falls outside is his living allowance.
The Rabbi nods, and says that his system is also similar, except it doesn't involve a drawing circle. The Priest and Minister look at him quizzically, and ask him to go on....
The Rabbi continues "I throw all the money up in the air - - Whatever God wants, he keeps...."
§China'sAllieCat§- Over Achiever
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- Post n°87
Re: Pun and Jokes Thread
((Lolololol!!))
Sage'sSong- Certified Romanceologist
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- Post n°88
Re: Pun and Jokes Thread
Dclark wrote:Why don't blind men skydive?
Because it scares the s*** out of the dog.
I see what you did there!
Shinella- Member
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- Post n°89
Re: Pun and Jokes Thread
((Lololol alex xD))
Sage'sSong- Certified Romanceologist
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- Post n°90
Re: Pun and Jokes Thread
heheh
I am epicness- Member
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- Post n°91
Re: Pun and Jokes Thread
Is it true that a lion won't attack if you hold a tree branch?
(That depends on how fast you carry it!)
(That depends on how fast you carry it!)
I am epicness- Member
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- Post n°92
Re: Pun and Jokes Thread
What do you get if you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle and a rooster?
(Cockerpoodledoo!)
(Cockerpoodledoo!)
§China'sAllieCat§- Over Achiever
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- Post n°93
Re: Pun and Jokes Thread
Lol nice... Oh and hi again lol
I am epicness- Member
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- Post n°94
Re: Pun and Jokes Thread
What do you get when you cross a Rottweiler and a collie?
(A dog who bites you, and then goes for help!)
(A dog who bites you, and then goes for help!)
§China'sAllieCat§- Over Achiever
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- Post n°95
Re: Pun and Jokes Thread
Grrrr... Stereotypes....
I am epicness- Member
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- Post n°96
Re: Pun and Jokes Thread
What goes dot, dot, dash, squeak?
(Mouse code!)
What did the 500 pound canary say?
(Here Kitty, Kitty!)
(Mouse code!)
What did the 500 pound canary say?
(Here Kitty, Kitty!)
I am epicness- Member
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- Post n°97
Re: Pun and Jokes Thread
Owl jokes
Someone said you sounded like an owl.
(Who?)
What do you call an owl with a deep voice?
(A growl)
What is a baby owl after she's 6 days old?
(Seven days old)
What is an owl's favorite subject?
(Owl-gebra!)
Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Who.
Who who?
Are you an owl?
I am epicness- Member
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- Post n°98
Re: Pun and Jokes Thread
What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark?
(A bird that talks your ear off!)
(A bird that talks your ear off!)
I am epicness- Member
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- Post n°99
Re: Pun and Jokes Thread
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
(It was the chicken's day off!)
Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
(It was stuck to the chicken's foot!)
Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
(To prove he wasn't chicken!)
Why did the penguin cross the road?
(To go with the floe!)
(It was the chicken's day off!)
Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
(It was stuck to the chicken's foot!)
Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
(To prove he wasn't chicken!)
Why did the penguin cross the road?
(To go with the floe!)
I am epicness- Member
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- Post n°100
Re: Pun and Jokes Thread
Who's the penguin's favorite Aunt?
(Aunt-Arctica!)
What do you get when you cross a penguin and an alligator?
(I don't know, but don't try to fix its bow tie!)
(Aunt-Arctica!)
What do you get when you cross a penguin and an alligator?
(I don't know, but don't try to fix its bow tie!)
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