SUPAH CHAIR RPG 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

NAME: STEVE THE CHAIR ((yes you have to say the full thing every time.))
TYPE OF WOOD: PINE
CHAIR SHAPE: WINGBACK
PERSONALITY: A QUIET CHAIR WHO WANTS NOTHING MORE IN LIFE BUT TO BE SAT ON BY MARVIN THE DEPRESSED ROBOT ((steve the chair's hero))
COMFINESS LEVEL: INFINITY
STRENGTH: CAN HOLD A MAXIMUM OF 200 LBS
STAMINA: FOREVER. IM A CHAIR.
AWESOMENESS: HOW MUCH MORE AWESOME CAN YOU GET THAN A SHMANCY SUPER COMFY WINGEDBACK CHAIR WHO IS DEPRESSED?!??! AND WHOS NAME IS STEVE?!?!?! WELL, IM THAT AWESOME.
LIKELINESS TO KILL YOU: VERY LIKELY IF YOU'RE NOT STEVES FRIEND
ADVERTISEMENTS: NONE. NO ONE LIKED STEVE AT THE DEPOT.
INSTRUCTIONS TO BUILD DIFFICULTY: TENTHOUSAND. THE OWNERS TOOK FOREVER TO ASSEMBLE ME.
HAPPINESS: NONE
PET: THAT COMFY LITTLE KITTEN OVER THERE.
RELATIONSHIPS: IM A CHAIR. I DONT HAVE THEM.
GENDER: CHAIR GENDER
AGE: 74
PERSON WHO BUILT IT: YOUR MOM. SHES MY OWNER.
THAT PERSONS SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER: 42424242424242424242
THAT PERSONS LIFE STORY IN AS MUCH DETAIL AS POSSIBLE: IDK. THEY DONT TALK TO CHAIRS.
HOW MANY PEOPLE SAT ON YOU: NONE. NO ONE LIKES ME, STEVE THE CHAIR.
YOUR MOTHERS MAIDEN NAME: I DONT HAVE A MOTHER
YOUR PASSWORD: WHATS A PASSWORD
YOUR BANK PIN CODE: ...WHATS A BANK
YOUR ADDRESS: IVE NEVER BEEN OUTSIDE...IDK.
YOUR MOM: YOUR MOM.
HAVE YOU WATCHED COOKIE CLICKER THE ANIMATED SERIES: I DONT HAVE EYES. NO.

Name: pufflemuffin 
Type of wood: rod iron 
Shape: creepy/awesome
Personality: die
Comfort: no
Strength: insanely yes
Stamina:  ha.. I defeat thee!
Awesomeness: in every way
Likeliness to kill you: almost always
Advertisement: I used to be an adventurer like you until I took an arrow to the knee
Build difficulty: build me and die
Happiness: very
Pet: very large spider
Gender: all of the above
Relationships: they died
Age: ageless
Person who built chair: grim reaper
All other info is withheld

Pufflemuffin: *movers carry he/she/it into the room by eesed...* no

steve the chair: *slides over to pufflemuffin* HELLO. I AM STEVE THE CHAIR YES YOU HAVE TO SAY STEVE THE CHAIR EVERY TIME YOU ADRESS ME DO NOT ASK FOR NICKNAMES I WILL KILL YOU.

Pufflemuffin: no.

Steve the chair: *expressionless* IS THAT ALL YOU CAN SAY?!?! I AM AN EDUCATED CHAIR. I DESERVE BETTER. BUT OF COURSE YOU WONT...FOR I AN JUST A CHAIR...

((I am literally dying right now))

Pufflemuffin: very well Steve the chair... I am never sat on... If someone sits on me they die.

pufflemuffin: *notices the reaction* oh hello there... you cant talk can you?

pufflemuffin: its ok... you don't have to be sad *she can sense emotions*

Suddenly a huge spider crawls from under pufflemuffin

[The spider squeels angrily and runs back under pufflemuffin (by large spider i mean about a foot wide)]
pufflemuffin: dont try to squish my pet!

((Wow...))

Pufflemuffin: it's ok... You didn't know better... But now you do.. *does whatever a chair does to smile* you were just trying to help, probably... *she doesn't know for sure cause he doesn't speak.* oh I have an idea! You can fall over when you want, right?

((I apologize to those I have offended with my writing.... If I wright something in the future that you feel is too graphic, inappropriate, gory, etc.. please let me know and I will withdraw the comment...))

((Arg... Did all the other chairs die on here?))

(( Well, to be fair, this roleplay was just a huge joke in the first place, never meant to be taken seriously, or even gotten an application. ))

((Aww.... But now my chair is lonely... ... And you only need three more posts to make it popular))

Steve the Chair: *randomly* I AM STEVE THE CHAIR

((This rp disturbs me))